![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
well, first of all, i dont know where to start.
let's just face reality: i am a loser
this is a feeling that i feel deep inside since i met Goddess Annika. five years ago...
During these five years She teached me how to face reality and to become a better person. by serving Her, of course.
i assume i have a drinking problem. I cant stop after drinking the first drop. Goddess Annika likes my drinking problem. in fact, She prefers me drunk instead of sober.
This is one point that makes me realize She is the only person in the world who truly understands me, as She prefers me the way i prefer to be... drunk!
Last December, She allowed me to come back into Her life for the second time. it was an honour. even if it brought bad winds over my banking account (making the credit card issuers quite pleased) i was happy.
She makes me happy. one day, as i was alone at a motel, drinking to get drunk as She likes me, and with some food to get fatter, She conceded me a session. During that session, as i was drunk, i misbehaved. i was a jerk. i was a pathetic being who didnt realize how close i was to Her. and to realize it is an honour. i misbehaved and Goddess Annika erased me from Her world. Her beautiful and Perfect World, where a person can only live with Her invitation.
for the following month i become a sad person, increasing alcohol and visiting a psycologist, to get some pills to get over it.
i couldnt.
Goddess Annika is truly important for me. i cant resist Her. During that month, i peeked into Her website and realized how Her life went on and how i was getting closer to despair.
i messaged Goddess Annika showing Her how i needed Her to live. i told Her what i felt (and still feel). i am a pathetic excuse for a man. a jerk. a mouse. a puppet. i have the same value as the turds you see while walking in the park. i am a piece of shit.
however, i can only see this as She enlightens my world, my vision. She is the world. i love You Goddess Annika. please excuse this pathetic excuse for a man for having misbehaved while drunk.
please Goddess, i apologize for all my actions and therefore i assume i will no longer think by my own head (with my 2 slow brain cells). i will always see any word You share with me as a grace. i will always put any of Your wills ahead of everything else in my life. i will try to do exactly as told. i will follow all Your leassons, even if they serve to make me a beggar, a junkie, a faggot, a divorced man.
You are the true reason for me to exist. when i am at work, i feel happy for knowing my income will serve to pamper You.
please forgive me Goddess. i'll make it worthy. i will be a very good boy (or girl, if You prefer).
truly Yours,
nameless loser
let's just face reality: i am a loser
this is a feeling that i feel deep inside since i met Goddess Annika. five years ago...
During these five years She teached me how to face reality and to become a better person. by serving Her, of course.
i assume i have a drinking problem. I cant stop after drinking the first drop. Goddess Annika likes my drinking problem. in fact, She prefers me drunk instead of sober.
This is one point that makes me realize She is the only person in the world who truly understands me, as She prefers me the way i prefer to be... drunk!
Last December, She allowed me to come back into Her life for the second time. it was an honour. even if it brought bad winds over my banking account (making the credit card issuers quite pleased) i was happy.
She makes me happy. one day, as i was alone at a motel, drinking to get drunk as She likes me, and with some food to get fatter, She conceded me a session. During that session, as i was drunk, i misbehaved. i was a jerk. i was a pathetic being who didnt realize how close i was to Her. and to realize it is an honour. i misbehaved and Goddess Annika erased me from Her world. Her beautiful and Perfect World, where a person can only live with Her invitation.
for the following month i become a sad person, increasing alcohol and visiting a psycologist, to get some pills to get over it.
i couldnt.
Goddess Annika is truly important for me. i cant resist Her. During that month, i peeked into Her website and realized how Her life went on and how i was getting closer to despair.
i messaged Goddess Annika showing Her how i needed Her to live. i told Her what i felt (and still feel). i am a pathetic excuse for a man. a jerk. a mouse. a puppet. i have the same value as the turds you see while walking in the park. i am a piece of shit.
however, i can only see this as She enlightens my world, my vision. She is the world. i love You Goddess Annika. please excuse this pathetic excuse for a man for having misbehaved while drunk.
please Goddess, i apologize for all my actions and therefore i assume i will no longer think by my own head (with my 2 slow brain cells). i will always see any word You share with me as a grace. i will always put any of Your wills ahead of everything else in my life. i will try to do exactly as told. i will follow all Your leassons, even if they serve to make me a beggar, a junkie, a faggot, a divorced man.
You are the true reason for me to exist. when i am at work, i feel happy for knowing my income will serve to pamper You.
please forgive me Goddess. i'll make it worthy. i will be a very good boy (or girl, if You prefer).
truly Yours,
nameless loser
depressed